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Loving Boundaries newsletter

Dearest One,

Cate in Hyde Park wrapped up against the cold

I hope you are really well and if you are in a cold climate that you are wrapped up warm and cosy. This newsletter is on boundaries and what they mean to you. Maybe you are wondering what boundaries has to do with love and can you be loving and have boundaries? Actually I feel that you can be much more loving once you take care of yourself and have clear perameters and boundaries for you. I know, for me, if I take care and eat healthily three times a day, exercise, write a journal, see friends and my support networks, meditate daily, sleep well and take regular walks in the park then I can come back to feeling OK even if I feel strange or sensitive. But if I get too busy, rush around too much and let go of taking care of myself then life can start to feel unmanageable and I can feel stressed. So slowing down and taking care is a big practice at the moment. Also when you slow down you can allow yourself to feel and it is in having feelings and taking space that magic has a chance to happen!

NEXT WORKSHOP DATES:

Saturday 24th July 10-4.30pm £40, “Open Your Heart to your Best Life” at www.isbourne.org Cheltenham. A creative coaching course using dance, writing and art to support you to clear your blocks and start to create the life of your dreams.Learn more

Safety

Creating boundaries is also about creating a sense of safety in your life and a sense of care for yourself. With this sense of safety comes a possibility of openness and an ability to dare to dream. Why would you open your heart unless you felt safe?

Definition

Much of my coaching work is about helping people to define the life they really want and to get clear about their choices and where they put their energy. Many people say to me that they cannot have a relationship because they don't want someone taking over their lives and they would like someone with their own home and their own income but they don't feel that they exist. Or their ideal job would be three days a week, well-paid work ending at 3pm each day but they don't believe that this exists either so they have given up on wanting it (I was with a lovely woman last night who has now started a well-paid job which is 5 days a week and finishes at 3pm each day so she can pick her children up from school). My job is to challenge their beliefs and to suggest that they could have a partner or a job who may fit with the life that they want if they could take the time to define what they want.

Energy

We all need to take care of ourselves and realise that we need to balance our lives and our energy. My Acupuncturist Dr Yu (Fulham, London 020 7385 8838) says that we all have only so much energy in our bodies and we need to be aware of not wearing our bodies out. She said that illness in the body often comes later after we have put too much stress or pressure on the body and that a blood clot on a plane journey may come because a person may have been over stressing their heart or liver for sometime before. In this sense it is wise to plan how you manage your energy and your time and become aware of what you need in terms of food, exercise and rest.

Leaving and Letting go

Goodbye Bromley by Bow Centre

I have now let go of my beloved groups in East London at www.bbbc.org.uk  and www.thecamdensociety.co.uk . I realised that I was becoming too busy with my coaching, workshops and art to manage everything and I needed to let go of my community work. I may go back and do one off sessions but I am no longer working there weekly. It was a very big thing for me to do and I was scared of letting go as they were a big part of my life and I had worked with them all for nearly six years but enormous though it was they each gave me a beautiful send-off and I need to trust that they will have the teachers that they need.

Letting go allows the universe to bring in miracles

I was scared of letting go of my groups. I was scared of upsetting them, leaving them and whether they would have a teacher who loved them like I did, and I was scared of the space that would come into my life. I was scared what would happen as I was used to being very busy and flying around London on buses and tubes.

I found an amazing gentle healing coming through having more space and also an ability to take more care of myself. Also As soon as I let go of my community groups I found out more details about two of my heart paintings that are being sold as posters world wide in nearly every country in the world (not UK and Eire yet but they will come here too) and also I am being sent samples of my work this week. These paintings were images in honour of my beloved Welsh Granny Gu (Mam Gu is Welsh for Grandmother)and it seems magical to me that they chose images which are about her. She was the epitome of an Earth Goddess to me always elegant and beautiful, growing her own vegetables and cooking sumptuous meals and treats and tremendously proud of my creativity and work. I could always go home to be with her in Wales and it seemed her door was always open and welcome to me.

My darling Gu as a young woman

Also I got offers of more workshop work and more clients to coach. The universe hates a vacuum and space fills. But I am no longer teaching all over London all of the time! I am now coaching in Chelsea in two offices and I have time to take care of me to go to the gym and swim and to the park and to do my paperwork and it feels amazing!

What is Heart Coaching

I believe that most people are pretty wonderful and are doing really well in their lives but often they cannot see themselves in this light and this affects their quality of life. They may feel like a hamster in a wheel rushing from pillar to post not really knowing what they want or what they want to create. Or they may not know how to manifest their true desires.

Heart Coaching allows you to come back to the presence of who you are, to connect with your truth and to start to live from this place. As you slow down enough to come into your heart and who you really are, you can begin to live from a more flourishing place with a greater sense of your intuition and your path in life. It could be that you stay in your relationship or your job or that you change your life and create something new. Heart Coaching supports you to live from your essence helping you to feel safe enough to open your heart and dare to trust again. From this place you can live the life of your dreams making decisions that feel clear, authentic and true.

This is form of Coaching which puts you in touch with your highest self and helps you to download your visions while being present to who you are right now. I work to support you to become your best self. This is a body-centred form of coaching asking you to connect with your breath and your feelings so that real and actual change can take place. With real commitment to the process I believe it is possible to make a deep and lasting evolution of the self.

The process of coaching involves a deep commitment to growth and a willingness to move beyond your blocks and limiting beliefs. The initial session will involve a talk where you would tell me about your background and what you are hoping from coaching. This is a time for me to get to know you and for you to get know me. After this session you would decide whether you want to continue and if you did then I would suggest that you commit to coming regularly for at least 6-10 sessions to facilitate real change while we work on your goals and targets.

During the sessions I bring in different coaching exercises looking at your values and the timeline of the goals you wish to create , body-centred awareness, connection with feelings, breath, visualisation, creating safety and boundaries and empowerment exercises. We will work to help you believe in yourself and the life you wish to have. This work is about supporting you to bloom into the beautiful person that you are and helping you to release your resistance to having what you want in your life.

What can Heart Coaching help with?

· Dating and having a partner
· Finding out what you want to do
and doing it
· Earning a living through your creativity
· Improving your relationships
· Fulfilling your career goals
· Achieving a work/life balance
· Becoming fit and eating healthily
· Becoming more confident

love Cate

Photo of Gu as a young woman

On Cate

"I have learned so much from you. And I have used your words in my life and will take them with me. I especially liked it when I saw someone doing something inappropriate for the session and you quietly went up to them and asked them gently not to do it. There was no drama or shaming and the boundary was set. It really inspired me and I will use it with my groups." Ulla Smith

Open your Heart to Boundaries

1 If you had no fear how would you like your life to be? How would you live? What would like to let go of or say no to?

2 Can you say no?

3 What boundaries would you like in a relationship?

4 Do you keep time for yourself?

5 What is important to you?

6 How can you protect you or your "You Time"?

7 Do you create sacred time for you that cannot be given away?

8 If people are rude to you are you able to tell them clearly that this is unacceptable?

9 If you had no fear what would you like to let go of?

10 Are you able to share your significant feelings regularly or do you hold back from sharing them? Are you able to share your happiness, sadness, your shame, disappointment or despair?

11When you are asked to do something make you give yourself time to think about it before saying yes. You might want to say that you have to check whether you can and come back to them.

12 Listen to people and what they say before reacting, you are not responsible for them so hold back before trying to fix or help them unless they ask for help.

13 If you had no fear what would you do or say?

14 If you feel scared in certain situations put an imaginary protective cloak on to keep you safe (midnight blue is lovely) or ask 100 million thousand angels to surround, protect and love you.

Cate's links:

Bernadette Vallely is the Chair of the Women's Environmental Network and has just brought out a report on the effect of Global Warming on women which you can download for free on the web site below http://www.wen.org.uk/resources/

Coaching

How about going for some elite life coaching to connect to your authentic self, to feel more confident, more loving and to create the life of your dreams. £80 per session. Change takes time and commitment but what you give energy to will grow! I see people flourish grow their dreams, create businesses. partnerships and relationships as they commit to themselves and what they want. If you are prepared to make that commitment why not come and see me for an initial appointment and see what you can improve in your life!

IKEA Posters in honour of my Grandmother Gu

Me and my beloved Granny Gu at my Uncle and Aunt's wedding

Our contact:
Contact details for Cate: info@catemackenzie.com Telephone: 08708747123 (national rate)

Copyright (C) 2009 Cate Mackenzie All rights reserved.

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